I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
