your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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