I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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