My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
