when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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