I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
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