now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
