We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
