He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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