i think my mom watched the whole time
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
