There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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