thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
a search helicopter?!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize