I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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