You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
