beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
