I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
