Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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