How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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