How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
