Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
whose parrot is this?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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