if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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