Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
