i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
