i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
