We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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