We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
