I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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