She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
operation harelip BJ is a go
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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