my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize