Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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