if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
