is your mom at the bar?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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