Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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