that's an acceptable place to lick
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
