Hey man sorry I got all grabby
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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