it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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