the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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