Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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