still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
