i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Never underestimate the power of titties
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
