I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
