there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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