She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
