He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
