We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize