I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
