all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
