It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
