we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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