His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
