My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
