It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize