What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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