Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
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