So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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