there's paper in my vomit.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
