i wish starbucks made bloody marys
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
