I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
