I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
