morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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