All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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